transitions.

Friday, February 26, 2010

soemtimes i dont know what to write on my blog anymore.

im so confused about life, in fact more confused than ever. i thought maybe after graduation, it would be working and working till you die.

the funniest thing is?

i dont even have a job. WOW?

well. even if i do have a job where do i find 100k USD to buy myself a house. talk about marriage, talk about life, talk about giving your parents allowance. it feels like as if... im forbidden to like someone, forbidden to fall in love.

how weird. they say ignorance is a bliss, but there is a price to pay for ignorance. thats...

talking about money. its definitely the money issue. being an indonesian, being able to study in america made me aware of how important and essential money is in my life.

i sat in an S-class today and i ask myself when will i get to get a car like that using my own ability? When will i have my own company? when when when. its always a question of when and how?

and... why cant i control my emotions? why cant I change myself. WHY? WHY? why dont i have the necessary discipline? WHY?

sighs.

why cant i stop smoking why cant i stop wasting my life, why cant i focus. WHY? why are there so many god damn distractions? sighs. why cant i change my life 180degree for the better? sometimes i wonder if its because im too scared to get out of my comfort zone or what. seriously, its damaging my already damaged life.

sighing wont help, and it feels like even if wake up tomorrow i'll prolly forget about what i wrote tonight. day by day and time passes by, i did nothing. i know i need to change, but i am not. i can't even set my priorities right. you believe that shit? 22 years old and my priorities are all wrong. crap.

how money ruin my life.

well.

Friday, February 12, 2010

i just think its never enough- for you isnt it?

now i guess i know how YOU felt last time now that i am going thru it.

well maybe not comparable to what you have been through. hahahaha.

well.

gotta find a new motivation and a new life soon 23210! i been procastinating too much that it dealt severe damage to my health and my mentality.

Saturday, February 06, 2010

if you ask me if there is anything useful i ever learned from adults, there is. and that is, there are many ways of looking at life.

well.

staying on the 2nd floor for nearly all my life, including the stay in america, is that it taught me i have to keep looking up. looking up at people who stayed at penthhouse, higher floors, blah etc. main point? keep looking up.